Codifying Principles and Practices of Learning about, Integrating, Applying, and Sharing NVC
The following map represents work undertaken by Inbal Kashtan and Miki Kashtan starting in 2001, and continued by Miki with some support from others following Inbal’s death. The work to complete it continues and once completed, it is estimated that the total length of the packets will reach upwards of 1,500 pages. Currently, 283 pages are available for download in 11 packets, and new packets will be added as they become ready. The current estimate is that project will be complete by August 2022, and updated every 4 months.
For now, only the hyperlinked ones are available.
These packets are available to anyone on a gift economy basis. They are offered to anyone who wants them, without any expectation or requirement of money coming to us. We are participating, in this way, in re-seeding the flow of generosity in the world instead of continuing to uphold the exchange economy.
We are inviting you to ask yourself whether you too would like to step into this flow. It’s impossible to quantify the amount of labor that has gone into creating the packets, nor would we ever want to ask for money in exchange for that labor. Rather than acknowledgement of work put in, we ask: do you have a willingness to contribute money to us? This would mean that Miki, in particular, can support BayNVC’s sustainability with less intensity in terms of her working conditions: either by doing fewer working hours, and/or by having more capacity to hire support and reduce her workload that way. The net benefit will be taking less time to complete the remaining 27 packets that are described below.
We recognize this is unusual and challenging for many people. For that reason, if you just want ease, when you click on a particular packet, you will find an amount with the description of each packet that we trust would support our sustainability sufficiently over time. The choice of that amount is intuitive, and not directly a function of the number of pages or the amount of labor that has gone into the packet being here and available.
We are hoping that many people will avail themselves of these packets freely, without giving us anything, and that many more will be moved by this experiment to give us much more than these somewhat arbitrary amounts.
Please consider your needs and ours, and read the above text to help you think through what you are able and willing to give.
Any amount given will support BayNVC’s sustainability and Miki’s ability to complete this work and bring it to the world now and into the future.
Using these packets in your own coaching, practice groups, etc
Would you like to know read more about using these packets and our materials as you share NVC? This is an important way NVC becomes more accessible in the world, and we have some requests that will help us to keep making this resources available. Please read here.
Learning about NVC
NVC Basics (25 pages) – Want to understand the basics of what Nonviolent Communication looks like and how you can begin your own practice? This is the one for you.
Deepening NVC Expression – What does it actually mean to express what is in us to other people? How do we know what to express, for what purpose, and how? This is what this packet explores.
Requests, “Yes”, and “No” – So many of us have been trained not to ask for anything that we rarely know how to ask, what to ask for, what to do when someone says “no”, and how to respond to other people’s requests of us. All this, in this packet.
Naturalizing the Language of NVC (10 pages) – If you are like many people, you like the idea of what NVC makes possible, and are worried that using a formula can interfere with the results. This packet walks you through many practices and ideas for how to stay authentic, in high integrity, and committed without turning off other people.
Deepening Empathy Skills – This packet is a thorough exposition of everything you ever wanted to know about empathy: why we do it, when to do it, how it changes in different contexts, and so much more. Also included is a segment about how you can increase your own capacity to receive empathy from others.
Self Empathy and Self-Connection – The basic foundation of any new practice is the quality of connection that we can generated within ourselves. This packet contains both information and a host of practices that can help you get deeper into the inner experience that NVC supports.
Deepening NVC Practice – This packet is for people who have already been exposed to Nonviolent Communication and are seeking to take their practice to a deeper lever, with more understanding, more compassion for self and other, more capacity for choice, and more.
NVC Theory – This one is the nerdy packet. It’s designed for those who truly love ideas and want to understand the bits and pieces of what makes NVC what it is.
Overcoming Patriarchal Training
Theoretical Framework about Patriarchy – This packet contains an introduction to a particular framework about patriarchy: what does the word mean, and why was it chosen rather than other options? How is it affecting us and why is it useful to focus on it? How patriarchy emerged, and why scarcity, separation, and powerlessness are so pivotal to focus on transcending.
Transcending Scarcity – This packet includes both theory and practices in relation to transcending our collective loss of trust in life and flow. The theoretical areas of focus are on money, notions of deserve, accumulation, exchange, and more aspects of scarcity consciousness. The core focus of the practices is to restore generosity and flow.
Transcending Separation – This packet includes both theory and practices in relation to transcending our collective disconnection from each other and the larger web of interdependence. The theoretical areas of focus are on interdependence and notions of self-sufficiency and lack of mattering. The core focus of the practices is to restore connection and learn the art of dialogue and collaboration.
Transcending Powerlessness – This packet includes both theory and practices in relation to transcending our massive loss of capacity to act with power and clarity on behalf of our own needs and the larger whole. The theoretical areas of focus are on recovering from socialized powerlessness and why we need to in the first place. The core focus of the practices is to restore inner freedom: the capacity to choose our responses to life based on our deepest needs and values.
Applying NVC in the World
Leadership as a Way of Life
Leadership as a Way of Life (16 pages) – This packet includes both theory and practices to prepare for the transition from focusing primarily on individual integration to taking on an orientation to life as leadership, caring for the whole and serving life through the quality of our being and through bringing our skills and consciousness to bear on how we engage with our environment, leaning on feminism and nonviolence as sources of inspiration for the depth of transformation of both caring and leadership.
Mobilizing toward Vision (20 pages) – This packet documents all the steps necessary, both for individuals and organizations, to orient toward vision, map current reality, derive values and purpose to anchor internal and external movement toward vision, identify a theory of change, and create agreements and systems to make tangible and support movement toward the vision. It is based on years of learning and application in the field by multiple people.
Principles and Practices for Collaborative Leadership (9 pages) – This packet engages provides support in navigating the transition from collaboration and leadership existing as challenges to each other and into integrating principles of collaboration and leadership, especially in terms of the shift towards using power with others when collaborating across power differences.
Engaging with Children
Engaging with Children – This packet includes basic materials for parents and others about how to support the full human thriving of children within a social context that aims to suppress it.
Working with Individuals
Working with Individuals Using NVC – This packet is designed for people who work with individuals through therapy, counseling, spiritual direction, mediation, and more. It contains both theory and practice about how to use the awareness and tools of NVC to support liberation, reconnection, and more. In addition, it provides a perspective on how to transform power relations, how to create an authentic human encounter across role dividions, and how to maintain a systemic persepctive even while working with a single individual.
Working with Groups
Nonviolent Facilitation as a Path to the Future (22 pages) – This packet includes many principles and practices for how to facilitate in alignment with the paradigm of nonviolence, which essentially means bringing courage, truth, and love to facilitation. This includes how to focus on purpose in each moment to guide choices; how to choose when and how to be transparent, and about what; how to track what unfolds in the group moment by moment; and how to use the full range of our humanity, own our power, and make decisions about process while leaving content mostly to the group. The packet also includes support for co-facilitation, facilitating from the sidelines, and engaging with challenges in groups.
Convergent Facilitation Primer (34 pages) – This packet is a basic introduction to Convergent Facilitation for anyone who works with groups, without any prior knowledge of group facilitation.
Organizational Collaboration Primer (11 pages) – This packet contains basic information for anyone interested in creating more collaboration in an organizational context. This ranges from a full introduction to organizational systems to a basic description of what interpersonal collaboration looks like within an organizational context.
Organizational Systems and Collaboration – This packet is an in-depth exploration of organizational systems and their relationship with collaboration, including detailed descriptions of each system and how to align them with purpose, values, and collaborative principles.
Organizational Collaboration Tools for Individuals and Teams – This packet takes organizational collaboration to the individual and team level, and includes tools ranging from worksheets for preparing for a difficult conversation to meeting structure templates and more.
Collaborative Decision-Making Primer – This packet contains basic information about how to set up a decision-making system and what approaches to decision-making within an organization are most consistent with the goal of collaboration.
Resource-Flow Principles and Practices – This packet addresses, in basic form, a host of questions that relate to resource flow, including collaborative budgeting, need-based financial agreements, co-created role definitions, and more.
Principles and Practices of Transparent Information Flow – This packet contains both pointers to some information tools that support collaboration as well as key questions and methods that support the process of choosing and implementing information platforms.
Feedback without Criticism (26 pages) – This packet is a thorough introduction to everything needed to set up a feedback system designed for ongoing learning and improvement in how to work towards purpose in line with values and in progressively improving relationships. It includes both the systemic steps and the interpersonal skills for giving and receiving useful feedback.
Conflict Systems Primer – This packet is a basic introduction to understanding conflict at the systemic level, what it means to create a system for conflict as distinct from how to individually engage with conflicts, and some support in setting up a conflict system that explicitly and concretely challenges the avoidant and then punitive approach to conflict.
Using NVC in Organizational Consulting – This packet is designed for organizational consultants who are interested in using the five system, purpose and values alignment approach to organizational consulting.
Nonviolence and Social Change
Core Nonviolence Commitments (44 pages) – This packet is a thorough introduction to 34 core commitments that, between them, form one way of understanding what a commitment to nonviolence means for an individual living in a violent, patriarchal world. Each commitment is presented in a 500-word, one-page deep description that includes a specific practice. The packet also includes an introduction to the commitments and suggested ways of using them. (Jan 2021 note: we anticipate a revised edition of this packet, fully designed and with images, by early March. Feel free to come back here then and download the next version again.)
Nonviolence in Action – This packet contains a thorough introduction to both theory and practices about how to apply nonviolence, and specific NVC practices, in the context of social activism. It spans the whoe gamut from the inner shift towards nonviolence all the way to designing campaigns that fully embrace nonviolence.
Power and Privilege – This packet is a deep introduction to an approach to the study of power and privilege from a perspective that incorporates love, NVC principles and practices, and a core understanding of the enormous challenges that entrenched and semi-invisible power differences bring to us.
Principle-Based Teaching (78 pages) – This packet contains information needed to approach the sharing of NVC explicitly with others from a perspective of principles. This means that all practices and specific forms are rooted in an understanding of why they are done, linking it to the specific experiences and challenges of the people who are learning about NVC. It is designed to be used by people who have already had deep integration of NVC and significant experience with applying NVC in the world first, before sharing it with others.
Practical Aspects of Sharing NVC – This packet contains a host of tips, bits of theory, and activities that can support the sharing of NVC with others. It’s based on years of running the BayNVC Leadership Program.
Inner Work for NVC Trainers – This packet includes an introduction to what it means to live as an NVC trainer, beyond simply knowing how to teach. It includes both reference materials as well as a major collection of journals and reflection questions to solidify the inner commitments that such a life entails.
Activities for Training NVC Trainers – This packet contains descriptions of some of the activities used in the BayNVC Leadership Program in support of training NVC trainers. It’s designed primarily for those who run NVC leadership programs, and not to be used with people who are learning about NVC.