Spinning: Table of Contents

In introducing her book, Spinning Threads of Radical Aliveness: Transcending the Legacy of Separation in Our Individual Lives, Miki includes this passage:

How to Read this Book

I hope that anyone reading this will feel free to follow their own curiosity and not be constrained by the order in which I have written the book. For example, I realize that some people are fascinated by how our civilization got to this point, while others may find the history or analysis of people like Freud and Marx not relevant for their own inquiries. You may want to skip that section (Section One), and perhaps read first about how our childhood upbringings made us who we are today (Section Two). If you then find yourself curious about how our civilization got here, you could then go back to Section One, or skip it altogether.

There are a number of different styles in the book: for memoir and my personal story, you can go to the sections headed “Early Hardships” and “Finding Me Finding Vision.” If you want my teaching and experience about how to respond to the hard emotions of shame, despair, anger, and grief, you can go straight to the section “Strategic Discomfort.” And so on. Happy traveling!

So here is the full table of contents to allow you to browse though and discover what is there. Two chapters are linked to, one of memoir, the other about a difficult emotion.

Full Table of Contents

Introduction…………………………………………………………………….. 1

Part One: Transcending the Legacy of Separation……………………. 9
An Invitation…………………………………………………………………… 11

Section 1: How We Got Here………………………………………………. 21
The Power of Stories………………………………………………………… 23
Committed to Rationality…………………………………………………… 26
Controlling to Death…………………………………………………………. 31
The Trap of Inherited Stories……………………………………………… 34

Section 2: How Separation Keeps Going………………………………. 41
What Makes Change Difficult?……………………………………………. 43
Early Childhood in a Social Context…………………………………….. 44
Psychosocial Analysis……………………………………………………….. 51
Why Me?…………………………………………………………………………. 55
Early Hardships.……………………………………………………………….. 59
–  My Mother’s Diary of Me…………………………………………………. 60
–  Blackmail…………………………………………………………………….. 76
–  Forced Exile…………………………………………………………………. 80
Turning towards Hope……………………………………………………….. 83

Section 3: Rethinking Human Nature……………………………………. 85
Reintegrating Reason with Emotion……………………………………… 87
Putting Needs at the Center………………………………………………… 91
Mutual Recognition……………………………………………………………. 95
Meeting Human Needs……………………………………………………… 100
Whence Violence……………………………………………………………… 108

Section 4: Going against the Grain……………………………………… 121
Getting from Here to There – Beginning the Journey……………… 123
Reclaiming Ourselves……………………………………………………….. 127
Strategic Discomfort…………………………………………………………. 131
–  The Gift of Emotions……………………………………………………… 132
–  Emotional Journeys……………………………………………………….. 135
–  Mastering Difficult Emotions…………………………………………… 140
–  Why Be Afraid?……………………………………………………………… 144
–  Burning through Shame…………………………………………………. 147
–  Staying with Helplessness………………………………………………. 151
–  Experiencing Despair……………………………………………………… 155
–  Transforming Our Experience of Anger………………………………. 157
–  Recommitting in the Face of Grief…………………………………….. 162
Embracing Life………………………………………………………………….. 165
–  Awareness of Needs……………………………………………………….. 166
–  Wanting Fully Without Attachment…………………………………… 167
–  Gratitude in the Midst of Difficulty……………………………………. 173
–  Replenishing Inner Resources………………………………………….. 176
–  Beyond Submission and Rebellion……………………………………. 178
–  Recognizing Our Interdependence…………………………………….. 181
Cultivating Radical Consciousness………………………………………… 183
–  Crisis, Empathy, and Community………………………………………… 184
–  A Personal Practice of Liberation………………………………………. 189
–  Facing Privilege……………………………………………………………… 196
–  What Do We Know?………………………………………………………… 200
Finding Me Finding Vision…………………………………………………… 211
–  Life-Changing Choice……………………………………………………… 212
–  Feminism as Personal Healing………………………………………….. 214
–  Permission to Be Powerful……………………………………………….. 218
–  Writing in Community……………………………………………………… 221
–  Discovering Empathy………………………………………………………. 225
–  Embracing Vulnerability…………………………………………………… 227
–  Heaven on Earth…………………………………………………………….. 229
–  Integrations…………………………………………………………………… 238
Mending the Tear……………………………………………………………….. 241
–  The Healing Power of Empathy…………………………………………. 242
–  Finding Unexpected Humanity………………………………………….. 244
–  Connecting Across an Abyss……………………………………………… 246
–  Getting from Here to There: What Comes
after Waking Up?……………………………………………………………….. 250

Part Two: Pioneering a Future of Collaboration……………………….. 253
Living as if ……………………………………………………………………….. 255

Section 1: Core Commitments………………………………………………. 259
All-in: Fully Committing to a Life of Nonviolence…………………….. 261
Relating to Self…………………………………………………………………. 267
Openness to Myself……………………………………………………………. 268
Openness to the Full Emotional Range…………………………………. 272
Risking My Significance………………………………………………………. 274
Responsibility……………………………………………………………………. 277
Self-Care………………………………………………………………………….. 284
Balance……………………………………………………………………………. 288
Orienting towards Others……………………………………………………. 291
Loving No Matter What………………………………………………………. 292
Assumption of Innocence……………………………………………………. 296
Empathic Presence…………………………………………………………….. 299
Generosity………………………………………………………………………… 304
Interacting with Others……………………………………………………… 308
Authenticity and Vulnerability……………………………………………… 309
Availability for Feedback……………………………………………………. 315
Openness to Dialogue……………………………………………………….. 319
Resolving Conflict……………………………………………………………… 325
Relating to Life…………………………………………………………………. 328
Interdependence………………………………………………………………. 329
Accepting What Is……………………………………………………………… 337
Celebration of Life…………………………………………………………….. 341

Section 2: Practices…………………………………………………………… 343
Acquired Spontaneity…………………………………………………………. 345
Anchoring Change in Practice……………………………………………… 355
Creating a Daily Practice…………………………………………………….. 359
Nonviolent Communication as Practice………………………………… 369

Section 3: Final Reflections………………………………………………… 377
Current Notes about My Personal Journey…………………………….. 379
–  I am not a Contradiction………………………………………………… 380
–  A Female Visionary in a Man’s World………………………………… 382
–  Making Room for Being Different……………………………………. 386
Getting from Here to There – Taking on the World…………………. 388

Appendix A – Human Needs………………………………………………… 393
Appendix B: Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC………………. 395
References……………………………………………………………………….. 399
Acknowledgments…………………………………………………………….. 403
Full Table of Contents………………………………………………………. 407
Index………………………………………………………………………………. 411
About the Author………………………………………………………………. 416

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